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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Maybe you’ve said it, but do you believe it? Someone revised this into, “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.”
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"And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased". Hebrews 13:16
Our newspaper carried the tragic story of a teenaged girl who began an online relationship with an admirer in a cyberspace chat room. The boyfriend, who was really her neighbor posing as someone else, broke up with her and wrote that the world would be a better place without her. The girl read those words and killed herself.
When has an acid tongue burned you? Or kind words refreshed your soul? We’ve all wished we could retract a thoughtless jab or had the perfect word to say at the right time. The Bible tells us the types of words that bless and curse.
The Bible shows the difference between a life-giving tongue and a destructive one.
John Gills Commentary explains it this way: "death and life are in the power of the tongue - of witnesses, according to the testimony they bear; of judges, according to the sentence they pass; of teachers, according to the doctrine they preach; of all men, who, by their well or ill speaking, bring death or life to themselves and others. Some, by their tongues, by the too free use of them, or falsehood they utter, are the cause of death to themselves and others; and some, by their silence, or by their prudent speech and prevalent intercession, secure or obtain life for themselves and others; yea, judgment at the last day will proceed according to a man's words, "By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned", (Matthew 12:37); the tongue is the instrument either of a great deal of good, or of a great deal of evil ."
Matthew Henry adds this helpful explanation: "The testimony of our consciences will be for us, or against us, according as we have or have not governed our tongues well. According as the fruit of the mouth is good or bad, unto iniquity or unto righteousness, so the character of the man is, and consequently the testimony of his conscience concerning him. "We ought to take as great care about the words we speak as we do about the fruit of our trees or the increase of the earth, which we are to eat; for, according as they are wholesome or unwholesome, so will the pleasure or the pain be wherewith we shall be filled.’’ Bishop Patrick. A man may do a great deal of good, or a great deal of hurt, both to others and to himself, according to the use he makes of his tongue. Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue, or the death of others by a false tongue; and, on the contrary, many a one has saved his own life, or procured the comfort of it, by a prudent gentle tongue, and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them. And, if by our words we must be justified or condemned, death and life are, no doubt, in the power of the tongue."
Loving words reflect God’s nature. Love is the hallmark of a believer and the perfect regulator of the tongue (John 13:35; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Love seeks a person’s eternal best and tells the truth in a constructive way. It never flatters, but warns, confronts, and protects.
“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church” (Ephesians 4:15, 25).
“Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law” (Romans 13:10).
“An open rebuke is better than hidden love!” (Proverbs 27:5).
“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6)
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17).
Check the motive behind what you want to say. Sincere love blesses people.
"Unwholesome Words are the opposite of loving words. They Make unfair comparisons. “Why can’t you be like…” They use people as a dumping ground for worry, needless chatter, and negative information. Such talk harms people’s mental and moral well-being.
Whereas love speaks the truth for the good of the hearer and shows respect, unwholesome words manipulate and use people and grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:29-30). Discard this talk like overripe fruit.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
“A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin” (Proverb 26:28).
“In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverb 10:19).
“Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips” (Psalm 141:3).
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Philippians 2:14).
"A GOSSIP BETRAYS A CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE; SEPARATES CLOSE FRIENDS; KEEPS A QUARREL GOING" (Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 26:20, 21)
"A talebearer revealeeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter". Proverbs 11:13
"A froward ma soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friend". Proverbs 16:28
"Where no wood is, there the fire growth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth....As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife..., "..... Burning lips and a wicked heart are like potsherd covered with silver cross" Proverbs 26:20-23.
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